I moved. In many hours. Many hours. I would like, very much, to thank Ryan for being the most awesome and over-reaching friend I've ever had. Thanks. Carrie is no slouch either, and today, a day later, Rick has been a help too.

I will tell you all my adventures tomorrow when, hopefully, the muscles that never existed before yesterday will have stopped cursing me out.

Ack ! Moving, moving, moving ! I think the last pile of stuff is just going to have to get stuffed into boxes and I'll hope for the best. Good luck, me ! Thank you.

Well, my appointment was yesterday, but the receptionist was very nice and scheduled me for the earliest appointment available - two weeks from now, but whatever. Packing has reached a plateau, unfortunately. You see, packing kitchenware SUCKS. Aside from being tedious, it's filthy-making. No matter how hard I scrub my hands, the nasty newsprint makes my skin grey and often almost black. There's residual yuck on me right now. I've also run out of newsprint so I have to go out (which isn't a bad idea anyway) and look for a pile of free weeklies that would rather give up their information-bearing life for a life in a box, crumpled around dishes that don't really deserve such care. Come on, a plastic goblet with a fish in its stem?

Holy shit ! I've SEEN the Tartan Terrors ! They performed quite boisterously at the Ontario Rennaisance Festival in Milton. They DID ROCK. And they were hysterically funny. And irreverant. And definitely not wearing underwear. Flash zone, indeed.

Oh crap. I think my Dr.'s appointment was yesterday. Damn.

Oh my goodness ! The Tartan Terrors sounded like they blew up at the end, which also ROCKED. Then the radio announcer said, when the thumping and stomping ended, "Well, I can safely say I know what is worn under a kilt." To which the bagpiper replied, "Just boots !" Then one of the female members said as she started to talk, "Hey, I did warn you that you were in the FLASH zone."

Cool.

I'm sitting in a wicked mess, which I just described to my friend Nicky in an email, but will repeat for the sake of my peanut gallery. Surrounding me are boxes, boxes, milk crates, boxes and cardboard of all sorts of durability. The dust buffalo have begun their migration across the house, heading to greener pastures in other rooms. It's really quite amazing how many buffalo have left the great plains of Justin's closet; hundreds. Soon they will be joined by the herd below my bed and for a day they will roam free before the colonising vacuum people will wipe them out.

I am in desperate need of a shower, my skin has been lovingly coated with the offspring of dust bunnies, so tiny I don't even notice how filthy I am until I wash my face. I had the windows open all day yesterday in order to keep the air fresh but today it is a good deal more cold and I would find the outside air quite... uncomfortable, especially as I sweat my way through packing.

Last night I worked until the wee hours, though I also was on the MUD. I found the happiest medium ever: pack, emote, pack, emote, emote, pack, pack, pack, emote. The roleplay wasn't bad, though a little tough to draw out since we were all in the wrong headspaces. It was necessary, though, in order to distract me from my sadness, and then, suddenly, I looked up and realised I'd gotten a lot done. My mood is greatly improved now that the inevitability of the move is upon me, and with so much done, I feel it's possible to complete. Especially with this rousing bagpipe/drum music happening on the radio ! Holy ! They call themselves the Tartan Terrors and they're ROCKING ! I wish I could see the kilts. *cough*

Maya: Darker than the average pink. <------------ My new descriptive tag line.

Now that the night has passed the hour of witching, by some good deal, I've got to report some half decent success with packing. One bookshelf has been emptied entirely, and cleaned. It's shelves have been pulled out and is now but a skeleton of its former glory. The other two await the same fate, though they are now mostly covered in miscellany that I haven't figured out where to pack, yet. My CDs took some thought, as since the last time they were moved, I had a good deal fewer. I count something close to 120, which isn't actually a lot, compared to, say, Nick. When you realise that my 90-CD tower was about half filled when I moved in here two years ago, and I've been on something of a fixed income (that is to say, quite low), it is a lot of music. They mostly all fit into the box in which I'd gotten my scanner, though it is MUCH too heavy for me to use with the handle that comes attached. Who knew that music could be so weighty?

Now I must go to bed. Packing must begin bright and early, and then I must hie me to the migraine specialist, and then with clothing to Al and Carrie's. I wonder if they have an outer key for the appartment building ready yet. I will ask them. Hm, I should have thought to ask much earlier in the day. Oh well. Anyway, my headache has passed, which leads me to believe that it was due to a lack of water and food today. Probably more the water, since I haven't been hydrating as much as I ought. Fancy. I have since drunk three glasses of water, so I guess I'll be okay. Whew, good thing; I'm only half done packing !

Wow, I had no idea how much crap I have. You know, looking at three bookshelves that are crammed with books (hundreds of them) and toys of all description, it doesn't actually look like so much stuff, but I've already filled six milk crates, plus two carboard boxes of similar capacity (a bit more for each). I still have five shelves that need packing, plus the tops of the cases. I don't think I have enough boxes.

I have taken down all my art, to my horror, tearing the corner of my lovely Star Wars poster. I have a lot of stuff that isn't art still on my walls, like my calendar (well, it's of Monet so it's sort of art), my full length mirror, my hats, and a light sabre. I must be crazy. I need to learn how not to be a pack rat. This is insanity. And I've got a wicked headache. Everything seems a little too bright - a very bad sign.

As I pack, I'm downloading music from Morpheus and listening to my seven hour play list. It's still not that big, but it's not small either. Thai food is on its way, though at one point I did have lofty ideas about making a spectacular chicken soup that would sustain me for three days. Whoa, amazing timing. My food just arrived ! I'm going to eat it now.

It is happening. There can be no question. My house has the distinct feeling of residence when I was one of the last people to leave. There are vestiges of the habitation of others, a radio that isn't mine, a bit of trash left in a corner, and the unmistakable echo of my radio in an almost empty building. The first things I'm packing are my books. I'm trying to pack them according to whether I might actually look at them while I'm at Al and Carrie's place. Most of the earth science, renaissance history, anthropology and archaeological texts are being boxed first. I read them, but with a good deal less frequency than my art books - and even those will be put through triage. I'll probably take down my art next. God, how depressing.

Tomorrow, after my appointment at Dr. Gawel's (it's a real pain to have to see him just for my migraine prescription renewal) I will come home and collect my closet clothing and bundle it into the car. I think I'll take it to Al and Carrie's in advance of my official move, just to reduce the pressure. By tomorrow night, everthing big has to be ready to go as of lunchtime Wednesday. Ryan is a saint for helping me move - or maybe a sucker. I'm not sure. At least my bed will probably fit in the elevator, unlike the queen sized box spring that he had to help Al carry up ten flights of stairs. Yeesh.

Justin just dropped in to pick up the bedding I loaned him so that he might wash it for me. Since it's got his drool and curlies on it, it's only fair. He seems sort of contrite, which is appropriate, I guess, and he tiptoes around the whole moving process with care. He should, he shafted me pretty hard. Oh well, I love him just the same, even if he's a shnook. It's really warm out, which means I have all the windows open, and the back porch. I brought in my barbeque and chairs - it's supposed to start getting cold again tomorrow and in case it snows, I do not want to have to dig my stuff out. I discovered that with this unusually warm winter, some of my creeping, ground-hugging plants haven't actually died yet. It made me a bit sad to dump them and their soil on the porch, but I'm not taking the dirt with the pots into storage. Also, it's a nice feeling to leave the new owners a righteous mess outside. Ohhh, yeah.

Well, I've reserved myself a 5x10' space at the Jefferson Public Storage. Strangely enough, the cost is more than 25$ cheaper at that location than at the Dupont Public Storage. You would think a standard holding space and floor would be the same everywhere, but no. I could have gotten the same sized space for another 20$ less had I wanted to store my stuff out at Vic Park most of the way to Scarborough, but um, no. For the mid-ranged price, I'll opt for more convenient, thank you very much.

I also rented a U-Haul 14' truck. Holy crap. Does that make me an adult now? Menstruation be damned, it's all about renting the cheapo-macho mobile.

It's amazing how long a day will stretch when you're somewhere you don't want to be. I do not want to be here, at work, being the membership bitch. Today, despite me arriving before every other part-timer (meaning I should have the choice of computers), I got stuck at the one in the middle of the department. I can only presume that this is so that I can be monitored. Remind me not to assume I have some adult rights at a place I've worked over three years.

I've been quite tense lately, beyond this unpleasant work experience. Of course, there's the move looming closer... faster, closer, faster... I have done next to no packing; my denial is so thick you could spread it on toast. I have to call the storage company today to make sure there's place for my stuff. I'm so depressed. Oh God, this is so depressing. I really like living on Manning, for all the crap my landlady has gifted me with, I love the apartment and location. I had hoped to stay there until *I* was ready to leave, but what can you do? That is not how it is, period.

On a more enjoyable note, Nicky, the grande dame of RoD roleplay (or was), has been giving me recipes that I can try. Heh, who would have thought THAT? She gave me a couple of tips for making a chicken soup out of the carcass in my freezer and I think I'll do that Sunday night after work. It will feed me on the Monday, after I've spent the day packing, or something. Damn, I'm back to my depressing move.

Larry hasn't gotten back to me about being a TA, which means I've pretty much written it off as a no-go. Maybe it will still pan out, but somehow the euphoric feeling has diminished in the space of a week. I don't know. On a positive note, Richard, my old boss at the ROM (when I was a site seller) has agreed to write me a referrence letter. Yay ! Richard likes me.

I went back to highshool today. Just for fun. It's also a good way to kill that hour after flouride when you can't eat or drink anything. Yes, I was at the dentist today, as well. By the way, I don't plan to recap the entire week. Suffice it to say that I went home, was fed good food, slept a lot, attended Ray's vernisage, and came back to Toronto a few days late thanks to an impromptu (not that they're ever planned) car problem and mild migraine when the weather got warm. Anyway, where was I? Oh, right. I went to my old school.

Northern Secondary School: the place that kept me sane in an unstable world. A lot of people can't say that about their highschools, but happily, I can. Anyway, a lot of my favourite teachers have moved on to other places, which was sort of sad, but three that I loved are still there. I dropped in on Mr. Z, my crazy old illustration teacher, Mac, my drawing/painting instructor (who is now the head of art thanks to Mr. U having buzzed off), and the only math teacher that was able to get me doing algebra, Ms. Verkade. All three of them were touched by my visit, which was nice, and Ms. Verkade looked like she was going to cry when I said she was the best math teacher I ever had. All three of them want me to come back with my portfolio to show them what I've been up to, so I'll go back in May when I have new and fancy stuff.

I have to get packing. I am moving this coming Wednesday (thanks Ryan, for being so kind as to help), and I haven't started yet. Tonight I will start with the toys and crap. Yes, crap. I have a lot of crap. Too much, really, but it's amazing how much crap one accumulates in two-and-a-half years of living in one place. Wow.

It's all over. It feels so oddly wonderful. Rick joined a bunch of us from school to see "Fellowship" again, and it was good... and it still makes me cry. That scene after Gandalf falls makes me weep - especially the all-too-brief shot of Merry and Pippin, the one lying in the other's lap, bawling. God, that is one of the most powerful images in the entire film. It should have been given an additional second or two for maximum potency.

I couldn't stop talking last night with Rick at my place. I was so excited to be done that I talked and then slept. Boom, like that. Not the most exciting evening ever, but it was so nice to have the pressure lifted. And the food poisoning. I feel... so... great.

I'm off home to Mom's to set up her Internet so that she, too, can become an internerd. I'll be back to work on Sunday. I have absolutely nothing more to write at the moment.

Seventeen hours. That is how long I was at school yesterday. I got lots of practice helping people with their scenes, so, if I get to be a TA, I already think I won't suck. I ended up completely lighting one fellow's scene. Somehow, it's spread: Maya knows how to light. Anyway, this morning we watched all the demos, and you know, they're awesome. Some less so, but the amount of work that was put in, and the various talents that people have - it doesn't cease to amaze me. Mine held up, I suppose, though there were some utterly perfect reels that I will strive for. I have to clean up my DVC and take out the thank you because Dan doesn't want his name in it. I'll leave it on the other reels, since they're at home and I won't get the chance to change them. I don't care, I won't be applying anywhere with this particular reel anyway. This was my first, and it's special to me, even if it's not going out to the world at large.

OH MY GOD ! I just saw my animation on the big tv monitor ! Holy shit ! It's so exciting, and it's so great ! It has some serious animation timing problems, and one of the camera cuts is *nasty* which may have been what Nick was talking about the other night, but since only one seems to jar, perhaps not. Anyway, if I had one more day - which I don't, I would fix the cuts. And the timing. No biggy. I'm coming back, regardless, and I'll fix it then. The lights are quite amazing. Lights are fun.

And, just for you, Nick, I lost the shadow on two footlights. ;) It didn't make much difference. WOOHOO !

I'm not going to be home in time for Buffy, sadly. I hear she cut her hair off. Oh well. I'll see it next week, I guess. I should have set my VCR to tape it, but I've lived so long without a VCR that I quite forgot that I now have that capability. Maybe I'll be home in time for Angel. Nah, probably not. This is the longest stretch I've ever spent here. I think I'll finally end my day at something like 15 hours logged. Wait, there was that time before Christmas when I was in until 5am - nope, that was 13 hours. Today wins.

Tomorrow is my last day. I can't believe it.

Okay, one more update. Clearly, rendering makes for boredom as witnessed here. I just spoke to Larry about TA'ing, and he said he'd hopefully be able to let me know as of tomorrow, possibly as of Thursday or Friday. Either way, he said I'm welcome to come back here to keep working, whether I become a TA or not. So, this is a damn good thing. He said that the school loses about 100 thousand dollars a year in possible tuition just by leaving the computers free at the back of the room for the graduates. He knows damn well that it's not a real loss of money, but an investment. Those grads come back and keep working, and eventually get hired and that's good for Seneca. Anyway, the new semester begins as of the 21st, so this might seriously upset my plans for going home. We'll have to see.

One of the new instructors is hanging out in the lab, poking around in the computer, with his young wife and their kid (maybe three years old, or something) and I swear, I have never seen such a sullen face on a woman before. His wife seems so unimpressed, bored, unhappy, that it worries me. I mean, they just watched a Pixar short and she didn't even crack a smile. Actually, she looks like a grown-up private school girl who is disappointed that she didn't settle down with the dentist she was raised to wed. Is that a horrible thing to say? Anyway, it's merely an observation, subjective as it may be.

Sleeping at school - there's nothing like it. Nope. The first ten minutes of lying on the lounge couch is riddled with people coming up to me and saying, "Are you sleeping?" No, tard-muffin, because people like you are bothering me ! But usually I just ignore them because eventually they go away. Then, an hour or so, later I wake up and stumble, bleary-eyed and lip-smacking into my computer room and Larry (the director) says, "Hey Maya, nice nap?" Ya, bloody fabulous, thanks, and only another hour and a half left to go before my rendering is completed.

What did I do today? Well, I went for lunch, which is a bit of misnomer, since I didn't really eat anything worth mentioning. I did have a tasty bowl of soup from the Greek place in the mall food court - it had both chicken AND plantains in it ! Yummy. So, that was the first bit of food I've eaten since yesterday morning, because the broth I downed at 5:30am doesn't count. Yellow water with hint-of-chicken has very little nutritive value. Then I bought some boot dubbin and proceeded to pollish my boots for twenty minutes. Then I went on the MUD for twenty minutes... and then I decided it was time for a nap. I do feel better, because of it, and I think I could even stand a snack from the over priced vending machine upstairs.

I've got about another hour of rendering to go, and then I'll put it all in Premiere and watch it hopefully NOT screw up. :) Hopefully. I'd really like to catch "Buffy" tonight if it's at all possible.

Oh, in other news, briefly, Larry came in and asked me if I was still interested in TA'ing because one person might be taking a *real* job. I certainly said yes, or rather, I looked up at him sort of blankly, mouth slightly ajar and nodded. Good enough. I won't get my hopes up, though, until I actually get the call. But, it means I'll be able to shift some work around - maybe take a leave-of-absense from the ROM, or something. Okay, snack time.

It's the crack of dawn - do you know where your children are? That's right, they're sitting at the Seneca Digital Media Centre having a poor time of it with their projects. After a most traumatic night spent almost entirely in bed (or the bathroom), I dragged myself out to school at 6:30am. Unfortunately, I can't make my render play smoothly in Premiere so I have no idea if the timing works. I suspect it doesn't.

There's no one here to help me, either, so I suppose I'll leave Alloisius' shoes the same colour as his body, and hope that by playing around on a different machine, I can get his timing right. Frankly, I'm almost too sick to care. I don't know how to work Premiere at all, actually. I can't think how I'm supposed to fade one still into another, and almost humourously, when I import the first 100 frames, which happen to go numerically from -100 to -1, they come in backward and I don't think there's a flip option.

Oh well. At least I'm not throwing up.

It gets worse. I went home shortly after 2pm because I couldn't stand the cramps. Also, I'd hoped that I'd be able to sleep it off, which turned out not to be the case. Note that I am presently NOT at school. I can't leave the bathroom, or not for long stretches of time, anyway.

This is reminiscent of my first provincial dressage show when I was 17 years old. I had, much like this, wicked food poisoning - then from a turkey sandwich rather than this time's chicken salad - and somehow I had to push through it all and I did. Took two third place ribbons, too. Hopefully, this turns out to be a good omen. When I can straighten up without needing to heave, I think I'll head into school.

I didn't feel like crap when at first I awoke. No, it came on shortly thereafter. I feel like I've got food poisoning. I've had it before, and I know what it feels like, and this definitely has that feeling. It just seems strange that it came from food I ate twelve hours, or more, earlier. I had a delicious chicken salad sandwich from Tim Horton's last night after I took Nick to the subway. Chicken and mayo both typically cause riotous stomachs within a couple hours after consuming, so why is this taking half a day? Anyway, I'm suffering through waves of stabbing cramps in my lower intestine. This sucks.

Things went well last night, though, with the rendering and whatnot. I worked on my titles and credits, which are pretty cute, I guess. Maybe I should have gone with simple, but whatever, Daniele says to make it memorable, and white-words-on-black credits are a dime-a-dozen. I don't know how nicely mine will work, but, it's worth a shot. Tonight I'm going to rough the whole thing in Adobe Premier and colour Alloisius' shoes (red, I think), and then render the whole damn thing again. I'm pretty excited. It's almost done. Good thing, too, since I have to show-and-tell it on Wednesday. I might be at school all night, though, which means that couch in the lounge is going to start looking darn cozy.

Back to work I go, cramps and all.

Well, it's shaping up to be a long, long, long weekend. It's had it's yo-yo moments, as well, which isn't at all surprising considering my stress level. Yesterday, Rick slept through our date. I sat in my car, blocking half a lane of traffic, for and hour and fifteen minutes waiting for him to show up at Lawrence Station. You see, we were supposed to sup at St. Hubert's and then see "Fellowship of the Ring" again. Well, anyway, *I* ate at St. Hubert's and phoned him again afterward to find out what the hell had happened. Anyway, it turns out that I woke him out of his lazy slumber and he was quite defensive, as though I didn't have some cause for anger. I called him some names and then hung up, and he called me back on my cell and said he wanted to talk and that freaked me right out.

Depeche Mode and Willi helped to calm me as I wept in my bed at home - well, more the Depeche Mode since Willi only yelled at me. Rick let himself in and we talked. There wasn't much to say, except various appologies and then we went for supper (I had some mussels, since I'd already eaten, and they don't take up much room), and it was better. It turns out that he wasn't even awake when I'd called him in the middle of the afternoon to confirm our date - and I even talked to him for TEN minutes. I kid you not.

Today, Nick was to help me at school, and he did come here with me, for here is where I still am sitting, but I had to send him home. I think he was feeling bored and sort of crabby since I was wasting his day where it turns out he wasn't really necessary. He might have spoken up about it, rather than simply getting snippy and bitchy with me, but that was good enough and rather than getting food, I took him to Wilson Station. His suggestions were helpful, and insightful, but I guess I'm getting too close to the end to allow him to tinker with my project settings now. Sorry Nick, please don't take it personally. You ARE helpful. Anyway, I'm going to surprise him with things.

Tomorrow I'm at the ROM, sadly. I'd rather be finishing my project, but, at any rate, guess where I'll be tomorrow night. Yep, school. Ahhh. My home away from home away from home. Oh, one thing worth mentioning, is that apparently I was shortlisted for the TA spots. Daniele told me this at lunch yesterday. About twenty people applied for the spots, which is a bit more than a third of the programme, and six people were chosen. I was within one or two spots from being accepted. Not too shabby, I guess. Anyway, Dan's teaching Maya again next semester, and he told me to tell Larry (the director) that I am permitted to come by Dan's class to work. I'm not sure Dan should be telling Larry what to do, but he was rated the best instructor, so, that says something. And he said it with a wink, so I guess I shouldn't quite tell Larry in exactly those words.

Back to work I go. Titles and credits and fun, woohoo !

I came home and rolled into bed for a well-deserved nap, before, what I'd hoped was going to be a couple of hours on the MUD, and woke up an hour and a half later with a migraine. Grr. It was a sort I'd never had before, something like half of a hairband stretching over the left part of my head. Unpleasant. Maxalt saved the day, though, quite superbly. In the end, I got something like over fourteen hours of sleep, so I'll probably be able to stay really late at school tonight. Yay?

I can't believe I agreed to go dancing with Ryan on Wednesday night after school ends. I can't believe I'll be able to stand, let alone salsa ! Hopefully Rick won't be jealous. I haven't gone dancing in ages, and salsa is fun, and Ryan knows what he's doing, sort of, and... well, FIVE BUCKS. You can't beat that. I think I'll invite Rick over on Saturday night after D&D, which I am still unsure as to whether or not I'll be attending.

Correction. I just this moment read my email. It seems Ryan has decided to cancel D&D. After all the shite that has gone on, I'm not surprised, but you know, especially after all this shite, it's really poopy to cancel. Oh well, I guess I'll spend the eve with Rick. Okay. And I'll start thinking of the campaign I'll run for the gang.

I think I'll head into school around 4 today and stay to midnight or so. First I'm going to zip over to Fluevog and see about spending my 200$ gift certificate. Whee ! Shoes fix everything. I'm not sure why, but they really do. Shoes are super good, handy (footy?), and important. And in the case of Fluevog, stylish. It's the only namebrand that I actually seek out and buy on purpose. I used to be like that with Docs, but they just lack so much in quality now, that it's not worth the money.

My cat is crazy, I have to go.

Wow, I'm beat. I came to school around noon, which is not long ago, and I've already eaten my lunch. Bad me. Anyway, I'm going to finish up Alloisius' hands today. It occured to me, just a moment ago, that I should have set his eyes to follow a locator. It would have saved a lot of time, but I guess it's okay. They look nice the way I've done them.

Anyway, I don't think I'm going to stay as late as I thought I would. I think I'll stay long enough to finish his fingers and do a rough render of the scene to see how it looks. I've never actually rendered anything, except that time back in, er, September or early October, when Nick showed me how to render my solar system. That was a while ago.

On another note, it looks like the names are up for the TAs. I don't notice mine on the list, which totally stinks, but then, for most of this course, I've seemed confused and frustrated. 'Getting it in the end' wasn't what they were looking for, I suppose, and I'm not surprised; disappointed, maybe. I had hoped to get it, because it would at least be work in the field I'm hoping to break into, and now I really do have to apply for government internships in areas I'm less interested in and ultimately less helpful for my being a concept artist. I'll see about entry level positions at companies hither and thither, but, well, I could really have used a little more time in the classroom and TAing would have been perfect.

Sometimes it doesn't hurt to have a little humility. Sometimes it's important to tell the truth. Sometimes it's necessary to appologise.

I hate it when my friends fight. It makes me feel uncomfortable and that's not a feeling I like to associate with my friends. I occasionally feel that my social life is - well, not a soap opera. It's more like a bad teenage sitcom episode or romantic pulp story. Mostly, I just try to keep out of it. This time I couldn't, because I don't like it when people cry. When people cry, they are hurting. And friends hurting friends is to be frowned upon at all costs.

When Good Friend A tells me that Good Friend B did something bad to them, I feel caught. In conversation with Good Friends C and D, I make the decision that it's important for me to speak to B on behalf of A. I opted not to talk at length, and I kept it light. I don't know if B will appologise to A, maybe they feel that A is no longer part of their life, or at least not worth treating with respect. That certainly makes me question how much I want B to be in my life (which is a lot to question since I consider B to be one of my closest friends. Ever.). Anyway, A was mistreated, and should get an appology. Even if B cuts A right out afterward, A still deserves a little respect for the support and love given B in the past. The truth is, if B had just been honest with a couple of people instead of trying to keep things smooth and separated (like the stories about a guy taking two dates to the prom - one that he wants to shag, the other cause she's his friend) none of this would have had to happen. It's okay to do the wrong thing sometimes. It's okay to fight with people. It's not okay to take no responsibility for ones actions or words.

B was my friend first, and I love them dearly. A warmed up to me a little slower but I love them no less than B. It's like divorce on a smaller scale, or something. If B doesn't appologise, the world won't end. Maybe they should have stopped talking months ago. Maybe this is healthy. But for now, it's nasty and it's petty and it hurts more than just them. There's a whole group of us who have to watch the blood-letting. And it hurts us, too.

Anyway, on a happier note, today Mom was awarded with an Amethyst award, along with the rest of the MNR team that helped negotiate a fishing agreement with to native bands up on Georgian Bay. It was a bloody miracle when it was settled, after twelve long years and many road-blocks. It was wonderful to see her work (many tears, smiles and nerf bats later) recognised, especially with her so close to retirement. It's as though after all this time, she's being told that all her effort and time really HAS been worth it. What is sad is the number of people that were part of the negotiations over the twelve years who are no longer part of the government; they get no recognition. I had to take many photos of the whole thing, of course, and so I did with two cameras around my neck. Mom looked so happy. So pleased. And I am pleased as well... GO MOM !

I got followed around my her colleague's son, Max. Max loves me. I pushed all his seven-year-old love buttons I guess, what with my knowledge of dinosaurs and knights and our mutual love of sea food. He's a cute kid. I know, I know, I'm not supposed to love kids, but this one is pretty neat. I'm quite happy to spend an hour or two with a kid, so long as I can give them back when I'm done. He gave me a picture he drew. It's apparently no one special, but it's a pair of guys, one with what looks like a noose around his neck (I hope not, but kids do draw some weird shit) and the other I can only presume is a superheor in his fancy green pants and purple cape. His father said, "He gave you the picuture? He didn't try to sell it to you? He must love you !" Cool.

Hah !

It is all about the hip wiggle ! Alloisius is alive ! ALIVE !

Nick's still here because he's an angel, though mostly he hasn't had to troubleshoot much tonight.

Mom gets her Amethyst Award tomorrow and this is wonderful. I fear I'm going to be an exhausted wreck for it though.

Goodnight - I'm off to do A's hands.

Too many cookies today ! Arg ! There's a huge tin of assorted cookies, some with chocolate, some without. Membership Services will make me fat. I can't stay away, they're so tasty.

I discovered that one of my video tapes is missing. Apparently, in the last year, I let someone borrow (because I don't want to think any of my friends steal) my nearly new reissue of 'The Dark Crystal'. Anyway, it's certainly not on my shelf, nor anywhere else. If you have it, please give it back.

Things went pretty well with Nick last night. We sorted out a number of the difficulties I'd been having and we cut some corners to improve the model's movement. Sure, it meant that Alloisius' secondary right arm became directly constrained to the pole vector, but who cares if it works now, right? I've got about 550 frames of basic animation done, and it's only getting easier. I should be able to finish that tonight and then tomorrow I'll spend the day adjusting things. Nick's coming over again tonight to help, and tomorrow when he's done work, too. We'll set up camera animation tomorrow, which will go a long way to hiding some of the wackiness of the animation.

So, a decision has been made about my living arrangements. Many thanks for all those who offered me places to stay, but for the month of February I'll be living with Al & Carrie up at Bayview and the 401. It's a little far. From everything. I know the area well, though, since a number of my friends in highschool lived up there. Nice area, too, if you don't mind the lack of anything much to do. I don't plan to stay there too long, because Nick's place is for sale so we're going to look for a place together.

Anyway, yay for Al & Carrie. And, we'll have matching cats. I'm not sure if this is a bonus, but they have Pepper, a brown tiger cat and I've got Willi, a brown tabby cat. Wacky.

I found, while surfing the web on my break, a very good site on mask making. I'm starting to think about it for Sandra and John's upcoming masquerade wedding. Hey neat ! I'm going as a black dragon, but it's going to be a bitch to make. I'd rather make it and use it for my portfolio rather than find a leather mask made by someone else. I bet it's going to be a lot more difficult than I think, but it would be a good way to try different creative avenues. Lord knows, since I'm trying to get into film and/or games, the more creative successes, the better.

Ryan tells me, "Don't fly today." I wasn't planning too, and the weather is abysmal, but he's referring to a spectacular dream that he had. Unfortunately, I can relate it to my final project which is not going as planned - not flying at all. Yesterday I couldn't make the keyframes stick and today they're sticking but there is no playback. Alloisius' position never changes. Nick is presently on his way to my house in order to try to help me figure out what the hell is the matter. I have two days to make Alloisius dance and it's not looking good. I think, if we figure out how to make the animation work, I'll probably have to do some creative corner-cutting.

Anyway, returning to Ryan's dream, this is a slightly edited version of an icq conversation we had only minutes ago.

RYAN: I had this series of bizarre dreams. First I was at the wedding of my friend Maria in this elaborate tower miles above the earth. Then you & I left to start our new jobs in the airforce.

RYAN: They let us fly a sortie when we first got there and we were attacked by two bad guys in green jets. We were given orders to back off and I hit the deck but you went supersonic to get away.

ME: oh. Trust me not to do what I'm told.

RYAN: Then I watched as two more baddies cut you off and then I lost sight of you in a cloud. Then there was an explosion and I was sure you had been destroyed. Later, the enemy released footage of your rolling to avoid their fire but we were too inexperienced and you got blown up by like four missiles. Then I went into the woods to see if you had parachuted out.

ME: Wow. That's the coolest dream anyone's had about me (and told me about) in months !
Mind if I publish that in my weblog?

RYAN: All yours. Although it was quite a bit more detailed than that. This is what I get when I allow myself to wake up without the alarm clock for the first time in months.

RYAN: The images looking down from the tower were quite fantastic. Lots of weird gadgets not unlike my dungeon.

ME: cool.
I want a big tower.
Except heights scare me.

RYAN: This was big. Like looking down from space big. Lots of dark blue, shadow, and white hues. The air combat was really intense. Flying dreams are some of the most intense you can have.

RYAN: It definitely took a lot from our conversation on the phone last night plus this program on jets I watched. Oh - there was also a part where I had to go and tell your mom that you had been shot down and I couldn't do it.

ME: Oh. Wow. That's really frightening.


I don't know what it means, if anything, but that last bit about not being able to tell my mother is distressing. Anyway, I'm not flying today, but hopefully Nick will be able to get my animation off the ground.

As for people who are flying, David and Jeannie have left for Africa, or will be at some point today. They are, of course, the couple that were wed on Friday in a lovely, simple, secular ceremony. The affair was held at Enoch Turner Schoolhouse and it was wonderful. Seeing all the old friends of the family was great fun, especially seeing David's friend Rob for the first time in a very long time. The service was written by the couple and it was beautiful, stressing that they are both a pair and individuals. The justice of the peace beamed through the whole thing, as did I. Then there was food (good food, almost amazingly since wedding food isn't often delicious), and much drinking and toasting. The DJ was very good, though a disc nazi not allowing me to look through her music, and she played it really loud so that it chased all the over-40s out of the room. But she played Hindi music too, and taught us all how to dance to it, which was a bit of a cultural experiment that didn't entirely work, but it was fun.

It was wonderful. I'm so very pleased that David found the perfect person in Jeannie, and she really is perfect for him. I wish them luck and love for the rest of their lives.

Bah, I never did come back after lunch. Indeed, it seems lunch lasted for a good long few days, hm. Anyway, let me go on now at some further length about my holiday. Rick and I returned together to my mom's on Friday night. We had a nice time there. It's nice bringing Rick home now, since he's really come out of himself with Mom. Originally, he seemed sort of on guard, but since his time up at the cottage, stuck with me, Mom, and her friend Ray, he's become a great deal more relaxed. Saturday, I suppose that was the 29th, we all went to see "Ali" which we enjoyed greatly ! Mom got all excited about it, whispering in my ear, "I saw that fight !" and "I remember that !" at several points through out the film. She also told me that my Godmother, Liz, actually went to Zaire as a translator or some such thing and that's damn cool !

Sunday, Rick and I went to D&D at Ryan's house, which lacked a little, but was still pretty enjoyable. We packed up early in order for Al, Carrie, Rick, and Ryan to head back to Toronto. Sadly for Tanya, she arrived in time to discover that we were already packed up. She decided to come over to my house and chat since neither of us have seen each other in a one-on-one capacity since our hike over the summer. Over hot chocolate and Christmas cake we talked about everything from the personal to cats, and then we discussed it all further with my mom who likes Tanya a lot. What's not to like? Tanya has her head screwed on right. If she could just stop wanting to help everyone, she'd be perfect. This is not to say that I think people should avoid other people's problems and turn a blind eye, not at all. I simply mean that there comes a time when she should concentrate on her own life and its improvement rather than wasting her time on other people that never listen to her anyway.

Monday was New Year's Eve day, and Mom was hosting a party for her good friends. I haven't spent New Year's Eve with Mom for a long time, and this year, since my friends didn't come up with anything exciting to do together, I decided that I'd stay at home. It made no sence for me to go into Toronto for one night, or for Rick to come back into Peterborough for one night, so we weren't together. Anyway, it was okay, at least for me. I'm not sure how much fun Rick had since he was suffering from stomach upset. Mom set a magnificent table, as usual, and the food was grand. Mostly it was a good time with good conversation (though, boring for me at times, which is sort of unusual since I find my mom's friends very interesting) and shortly before midnight, we all put on silly hats or masks and clustered around the TV to watch the ball drop in Times Square. I think NBC, or whichever station shows Leno, should NOT have combined Times Square with a live Leno show. It was dumb.

New Year's Day saw me mostly relaxing, which was well deserved - heck, I think all relaxation is well deserved even if it isn't - and there wasn't much to do. Mom and I watched a very good TV production of "Nicholas Nicholby", or rather, the first part, and that was good. Wednesday, I took Willi to the vet because we'd discovered she was full of worms, probably from her days as a stray some 10 months before. Uhg. I got her shots, too, so she really collapsed into an ill-feeling funk by mid afternoon. I dropped by Kerri and Mark's place, but naturally, Kerri was elsewhere so I hung out with Mark and Darien (the baby). Darien has grown tons and is now quite the going concern. I was pleased that he's decided I'm not evil incarnate and actually decided to interact with me. When he was about seven months, all I had to do was look at him and he'd wail. Now I'm okay, and even worth a smile or two. That night, Mom and I watched the second installment of the Dickens story, and then the "West Wing" that we'd taped. Then, bang, I came down with a migraine. This does not mean I went to bed, no sir, I had to take down some decorations. So I did, and I took some Tylenol, which did nothing, and then medicated myself more effectively and watched half of some amazingly weird French film about some school kids that help one of their classmates bury his dead mother. I really needed to go to bed by that point, so I didn't see how it ended. I'll have to look for it now that I have a VCR.

Thursday I was planning to come back to Toronto, but instead I took my sweet time doing other less important things. I denied the need for me to get home to work on my project - I guess I need to work up enough panic in order to finish it - and instead wrote the log entry to the D&D journal. I packed up my stuff and still didn't leave. I finally left early in the afternoon on Friday, in time to get Willi home and settled in, and to clean out my email before getting ready for David and Jeannie's wedding.

I'll write more fully about the wedding a little later, when I need a break from my school work, but now it's time to get busy. Rick's getting his stuff together and so I need to get down and dirty.

Tomorrow afternoon, I'm off to Toronto once more, after a none-too-long vacation here at Mom's. It's sort of sad to go back to TO where I'll have to return to my filthy house in order to work on my final project. I'll have from tomorrow night until the 9th to get it finished. Is it possible? I don't know. It worries me. Also, I must speak to Nick about whether or not he'll actually be able to live with me. If he can't, there's not really any question; Al and Carrie will have a roommate, at least temporarily. This month is going to suck. I suppose, then, it's been good that I've actually had the time to vegetate a bit here at Mom's. It's been a really nice holiday, for both myself and Willi. Who would believe that little Miss Anti-Social Willi-bee would actually get along with Chester and Melody. Willi's been kept completely busy and has hardly been recognisable as her typically irritating self. I wish I could provide her this much interest in my apartment. Anyway, when I move, I'll probably leave Willi with Mom since we know this arrangement works, and it will save me the worry about whether my cat will escape while furniture is moved out various doors.

Anyway, let me give a bit of an account of my holiday. Dinner at the Wissenzes on the 22nd was very good, and, much like last year, Rick's mom spoilt me, but moreso, because last year was only the first Christmas that he and I were dating. Now she seems to want to heap things on me as though I'm one of her own, or soon to be. It's a little daunting, but I really like his parents so I can handle it. We all tootled over to his grandparents' house and ate cookies and had coffee. I like his grandmother lots, I must say. Even Anna, Rick's sister who notoriously dislikes me, was pleasant. She even greeted me and wished me a merry and whatnot. Wacky.

I arrived home on the night of the 23rd after working at Heretic all day. The drive was smooth and hardly a bother at all, the weather conditions were perfect. I discovered that Willi is a LOUD animal when she's pissed off. Apparently, the cat-carrier pisses her off. Once home, Mom made me partake of some small fare before erecting the Christmas tree. I went to bed very late, I must say, because once the tree goes up, we must sit and enjoy it for a time afterward. The following day, Mom and I headed out onto the road again, back to Toronto, to celebrate Christmas at Julie's house. It was wonderful. Absolutely. We brought mince pies and there was lasagna and presents and good fun and spirits. We had intended to go to St George's United Church for the late service, but by the time dinner was over, we were exhausted and only wanted to get back to Peterborough. It was nice, but it certainly is a secular celebration at Julie's. I'm used to a little bit more Christ in my Christmas. Or even carols. Oh well.

Christmas Day was spent at great leisure, sleeping late, and then nursing coffees as we opened presents. I don't much want to chronicle what I got; I'm not that materialistic, or so I like to think, but some things are worth mentioning. Highlights of Julie's house and my Mom's were the volumes 2 and 3 of the Akira reprint, and Eisner's New York. Mom gave me a VCR (joy !) and a gift certificate to Fluevog shoes. WOOHOO ! Fancy feet for me ! We picked up Ray that evening and he joined Mom and I for a lovely turkey dinner. I'd dug up a VHS copy of George C. Scott's "A Christmas Carol" and given it to Mom in her stocking and we three sat and enjoyed it very much after the meal. It was nice.

The 26th was a good day, too, full of leftovers and going to a movie. I persuaded Mom to go see "Fellowship of the Ring" at the theatre here in town. Seeing it with her was quite enjoyable. She remarked that it was racist (which it definitely is), sexist (and not nearly so much as the book), and manipulative (also true, though done well). That said, she was bowled over by the cinematography and direction and became totally engrossed in the whole story. She had to hold my hand everytime one of the black riders appeared. She even conceded that she might like to see it again. Success, then, I think.

Leaving Willi at Mom's, I went back to TO to work Heretic the 27th and 28th. The 27th was Rick's birthday, and it was my treat to take him to my favourite restaurant in the city: The Lobster Trap. I swear, I have never eaten a lobster so sweet and delicious as I did that night. The whole evening was only slightly marred by the mildly sour waitress. I do NOT like being rushed through a meal, especially when I'm spending large sums of money. Anyway, Rick was pleased with the book about Samurai that I gave him, so that was very nice.

Oh, Mom's made lunch, so I'll write more later. Whee, I love being home !