The Christmas vacation seems an awfully long time ago. I have more individual groups and have already had more group meetings than I'd had at the halfway point of last semester. I can barely keep track of everything I have to do, plus I went and signed up for a conversational French class, and I'm still working nearly every weekend in Toronto. I've already missed school due to being sick, and I feel like I'm letting my various groups down. From the amount of work I'm doing, I don't think this is the case, but I feel swamped one moment and lazy the next. Everything is going so quickly, I can hardly focus on the tasks at hand. Entering week four of semester two, I am certain of only three things:

1. there is not enough time in a week to get everything you want finished
2. there is enough time in a week to get what you NEED finished and,
3. there are three full weeks ahead of me before Reading Week.

I had this passed weekend off, which was a pleasure, and even more importantly, it wasn't all filled to the brim with group work. So, not one to miss an opportunity, I invited Nick out to visit. I knew that I would have to take long breaks from him - he's as intense as ever - and those breaks would allow for homework doing. Mostly, it worked.

Having Nick here was really fun. It was the first time that my mother really got to meet him. Their previous encounters were usually less than an hour and hardly worth mentioning. Mom and Nick spent a lot of time talking, which was handy as that also afforded me time to do work and to conduct a phone interview with someone (we'll get to that later) for a project. Nick was also given ample time to work on his knitting, some of which he forgot here, and no one demanded he get up early in the day, which is good for him, too. He was a very good houseguest, though he smelled quite bad by Sunday night.

So, getting back to that phone interview I conducted... I called someone I had worked with a long, long time ago - a decade, in fact - at the ROM, when I was a co-op student in Outreach. Kevin, was the ROM's taxidermist and I worked with him regularly during my time there. We did everything from play (er, I mean, work) with freeze-dried bats, to play MYST after hours in the then brand new distance learning computer lab. He was also the one responsible for repairing my finger when I sliced the tip nearly right off with a scalpel. Anyway, he's still a taxidermist, and happily, I was able to track him down thanks to the Internet and a vague knowledge of where he resides. We did a good bit of catching up and I spoke to him about using mounted specimens in museum settings, etc. I plan to stay in touch with him and hope to visit his studio sometime soon. What's particularly interesting is that we know a lot of the same people both thanks to our museum work and my work/experience with MNR and his work as a naturalist and nature artist.

Anyway, I must going. I'm sick and The Daily Show is coming on shortly. Somehow, I'm going to manage to get everything done this week so that my weekend is free in Toronto and I can finish painting Rick's living room. I'm hopefully going to be well enough for, if not all of my class, tomorrow, than most of it AND French. I'd also like to get to the Y at least twice before the weekend, and if I can swing it, maybe once in Toronto, as well. No Dungeons and Dragons this weekend, though, because certain players can't make it. Probably for the best as I won't have much time to spend on a campaign for them. And, finally, I found out about an art competition that I'd like to enter. I'll try to tell more about that in the days ahead.

I'm sitting at the reception desk at the Museum, enjoying the rather tranquil day. There is no major exhibition on and it's been snowing steadily since about 3am so traffic is not surprisingly down. There is a wedding show going on here this weekend, so I might go have a quick look on my break later, but for the same reason, that show is under populated as well. This weather makes me so happy. Yesterday it was frigid and bright with sun, today it's colder than normal and snowy - I'm in bliss ! I've got tights on under my pants, and socks over the tights, a teeshirt under my dress shirt and a shawl wrapped around me. Yesterday, I was also wearing leg warmers.

Around lunch time, I had the most powerful urge to get up go make snow angels on the front lawn ! I restrained myself; however, the idea of coming back into work with wet pants was not a pleasant one. I might just have to do it when I'm done, though. I'd love to be out riding or skiing or toboggonning (how is that spelled?) or just about anything other than just sitting here waiting for someone to buy admission. Last night, despite the skin-crackingly cold air, I walked from Yonge to the ROM in order to stop in at Nine West. There's a 50% off sale and shoes are not only fun, but ... well. Okay, shoes are fun and I haven't bought any in a while. I had enough power of will to not buy two pairs, one was enough. But what a pair it is ! They're pretty, feminine, super heeled, lilac and grey party shoes (with an ankle strap). *purr*

I'd say that over half the people coming through the doors today are from outside of Toronto. Most Torontonians are too wimpy to go out in a blizzard for the museum. Tourists, on the other hand... Anyway, here is a list of the places some of the people have been from: Oman, Dubai, Sweden, South Africa, Korea, Australia.

Turning to other things, namely school, my schedule is rapidly filling up. I'm starting to double book my days now, especially now that I'm taking a ten week conversational French course every Tuesday night. Also, I've got a music lesson to attend on Monday afternoon. This is a very special Christmas present from my mother to me. For a long while, I've been mulling over the idea of taking up the recorder again and my mother dealt with the problem. It's only one lesson, but if it goes well, perhaps there will be others. I haven't played the instrument in fifteen years or so and, as you can well imagine, I'm very nervous !

I cannot believe how quickly the school year is passing, though. It seems like just a few weeks ago that I moved home at the start of September. Already, two weeks of school have rushed past. Unbelievable. I've accepted that I will have to (more than likely) delay my internship until the fall, but that's okay. I'll happily extend my life at Mom's. I love it ! I do, I do, I do !

Whaaaa ! I'm so peppy today !

Week one of term two has ended and I've already got that oh-my-god feeling. Without even having all the assignments penned into my agenda, the semester is shaping up to be as bad and worse than the last. It's exciting, though, and I'm really enthusiastic about a couple of my new courses, including the interpretation/education class.

In other news, I'm having a hard time with a particular decision. You see, I've been an active member of the OPSEU local at the museum for my entire history of paid work there. I've been a shop steward for five out of those six years and, I think, fairly devoted to the cause. I took the position for no other reason than to look out for my co-workers and make sure they got the most fair treatment available to them. This is no small task considering the myriad underhanded ways in which the management undermines the membership and, to be honest, the whiny, spineless nature of much of the membership. I believe that I have done a relatively good job in this position.

Recently, I have been handling a potential grievance issue for one of my co-workers. He's a steadfast employee and not one to rock the boat, but he's also had it with his manager's total disregard of the rules as laid out in the Collective Agreement. He came to me and I have attempted to handle this case quickly and justly. I asked him if he was willing to grieve the issues and he agreed. I was stunned, but, not ever having had the opportunity to go through with a grievance, also unsure of the exact procedures. I emailed three of the senior union executives, and only one of them ever answered me. So, I did what I was told to do and then waited to receive an answer. No answer came. I sent another email about the issue and was told that they hadn't heard from my co-worker and therefore they couldn't move on it. I replied that they were supposed to get back to me and then explained my frustration with how this had been handled.

I constantly have to hear about how unreliable the part-time union reps are and how unwilling the membership is to pursue grievance cases, etc. More than once, when I've looked for advice or had questions for the senior executive, they have not followed through and/or answered me. I finally said as much and have now received an email that makes me wonder why I bother at all. I'm sick and tired of being made to feel like I'm inadequate in my position as steward, tired of bothering with any of this at all. I'm unsure how to answer the letter, which, yet again, pins me with the blame and questions my commitment. What I'd like to say in response is something along the lines of, "Fuck you. I'm sick and tired of this crap. Maybe if you think the part-time executives are lacking in commitment, you should take a look at how you behave toward them. I quit." Unfortunately, this is probably not the best way to handle the situation and it certainly doesn't help my co-workers.

Anyway, I've decided to think on this a bit before I take action. I'm angry and irritated and I know from experience that this is not a good time to make a decision.

It's Tuesday before noon and I'm killing time before my one o'clock class. I suspect that this will become part of my routine, spending an hour in the computer lab at Fleming in order to avoid the cafeteria or something. This morning's class was "Fundraising and Grantsmanship", which will, I suspect, be more interesting than I previously thought. While I personally despise raising money - it's well outside my interests - I seem to end up doing it more often than anything else. I don't know why that is, but I suppose this class will give me a boost in that area for all my inevitable non-profit fundraising activities of the future.

Yesterday was painful. I arrived at class with just barely four hours of sleep and was treated to possibly the least interesting talk (it isn't even worth calling a lecture) that particular instructor, whom I usually enjoy a lot, has ever given. It was eyeball-spooningly boring and succeded only in causing math anxiety in 3/4 of the class. For next week a calculator is needed. I haven't -needed- a calculator since grade 12 (when I finally completed grade 11 general math). There's even going to be a math TEST. For me, there is nothing so terrifying as a math test. Just thinking about it makes me tense. Following class, as much for exhaustion as for terror, I put myself back to bed and slept for another four hours.

In other news: I have very little to report. There's stuff on my mind, and I had a wild dream yesterday that I'd love to recount, but I'm just so uninspired that I think I'll end here.

It's not really a surprise, though I think I used to be less thinky than I ranked this time. That's okay, it's nice to know I think some of the time. I just came back from some mindless mall-wandering with my mother. We went to find her some new duvets and me some new jeans, since I split mine while painting Rick's living room last week. What we ended up with were no jeans, a bunch of groceries, an excellent hat each (from Mark's Work Wearhouse), and a faux tiger rug (I've named it Rupert) that will become the main element to this year's Hallowe'en costume. You can't start too soon making a costume.

I went to Bluenotes to buy the same type of jeans I bought over the summer and I was stunned to discover that they didn't remotely fit. In five months, I have not gained that kind of weight, so I have no idea what happened. The salesgirl said that sometimes the design changes, so my response was, "It's not the same kind of pants, then, so they should change the name, too." Bugger. Anyway, then I tried to find the same concealer I've used for the last five years, since it came out, Air Wear by L'Oreal. It's the only concealer that I've been almost 100% satisfied with. So, today I learned that it's been discontinued. ROAR ! Oh well, I'll just have to test different varieties and see what comes close.

Good thing I found those tiger rugs to cheer me up. And the hat. It's a great hat. it is like the one I had in highschool only less Russian Army and more sporty, but black and peaked with ear flaps that can be taken down. Mom also bought a hat. Hers is a tan/brown rabbit fur hat that is kind of like a Russian Bomber-style hat. It's cute and perches up on her head, but has flaps that come down over her ears, too.

And, that's pretty much been my day. :)

Jung Explorer Test
Actualized type: ENTP
(who you are)

ENTP - "Inventor". Enthusiastic interest in everything and always sensitive to possibilities. Non-conformist and innovative. 3.2% of the total population.

Preferred type: ENFP
(who you prefer to be)

ENFP - "Journalist". Uncanny sense of the motivations of others. Life is an exciting drama. 8.1% of total population.

Attraction type: ENTP

(who you are attracted to)

ENTP - "Inventor". Enthusiastic interest in everything and always sensitive to possibilities. Non-conformist and innovative. 3.2% of the total population.

Take Jung Explorer Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Well, it's a brand new year and nothing has changed. People all over are making resolutions, and probably have already broken some of them in just a few waking hours. I, for one, do not bother with resolutions. It's a false way of setting goals. In fact, I rarely go and set goals, because something in me just hates trying to achieve them. I'm much better off doing things slowly, bit by bit, one day at a time, and for the last year, I think I have done a good job.

I'm back in school and love it. Sure, not everything has been wonderful, and there is a couple of things that I look forward to improving this semester, but no unrealistic goals for me. I don't plan to be the best in my class, but if I do my work and make the effort, I might just manage it. I think that I'm above the class average, but I really don't know. Regardless, I'm not in this programme to win. I'm in it to set my course through life.

2004 started with me ending a relationship with someone I thought was my friend, who I supported and gave my everything to, to the detriment of my finances, my relationship with Rick, and my own personal needs. I was picking up the pieces of what I'd had with Rick after a few turbulent months apart. I had no faith that things would work with him or that we would last more than a few weeks, but I was pleasantly surprised. Over the course of the year, Rick and I have developed a much stronger relationship than we ever had before, that is full of love, (I hope) respect, and fun.

In September, I moved back home with Mom for the first time after seven years or so. I was a bit concerned about it and the changes it might bring, but discovered soon enough that this was one of the best things I could have done. My mother and I have become good friends and enjoy each other's company immensely. I try not to think about moving out again. A year isn't enough. I tell ya, it's really nice to be home. Who ever said you can't go home again, clearly didn't have a mother like me.

Now, this last month has been difficult. I lost a person dear to my heart and watched to loved ones come very close to ruining the lifelong bond they share with another person. A tsunami rolled over a massive number of people and destroyed lives. It put my own grief in perspective and then reminded me just how lucky I really am. If you're reading this, then you're lucky, too.

Please do the best you can this new year, and through out the year. Give and receive graciously, and remember your please and thank yous. Value your own worth and that of the people around you. I wish you good health and happiness and many more new years to come.

Happy New Year.