I have been really tired for the last few days and in thinking about this and speaking with my friends, I believe there are two factors at play (possibly a third, but it would involve a blood-test so I think I'll just take vitamins). Firstly, it's dark out. Days are shorter in Winnipeg than they are in Toronto and leaving the house before the sun rises is kind of depressing, as is living in a basement, no matter how nice a flat it is. Secondly, I had one of the most emotional weeks of the past year last week. How so?

Let me tell you about my best friend's wedding. I love Tracy, she's my best friend of 16 years, and despite a year of estrangement over which we recovered, this has never wavered. In fact, in that year, I never stopped calling her my best friend - sort of like having an estranged spouse, ie. they're still your spouse. Anyway, Saturday was her wedding to long-time boyfriend, Paul. Aside from this being the most poignantly important wedding I have ever attended, it was also a mildly nerve-wracking experience. Being Tracy's Maid-of-Honour was truly an honour, standing for her and signing the register, etc., being not only part of the ceremony but also the legal process, was quite profound. The ceremony, I felt, was very beautiful (although I'm still trying to figure out how Secular Humanists get to be a legally recognised religion but Wiccans don't). I managed to hold back my tears, which is good, since Paul looked to me when he thought he was going to utterly break down (I was 'strong' for him).

My emotions were complicated by the presence of Rick, my own long-time boyfriend, who is, since September, my exboyfriend. He wanted to be there for me and to support my mother, which is very noble of him, but I won't deny that his being there lent an undercurrent of sadness to the whole affair. He looked very nice, as always, and he was very sweet and concerned. At the same time, my first love, Jon, was also in attendance, and Rick witnessed our making ammends after eleven years of animosity. There were a lot of people from my past at this wedding, too, people I liked and respected, but nonetheless had drifted away from for various reasons. Needless to say, Saturday was a very powerfully moving day for me and tears ran down my face for much of the drive home that night.

Since then, I haven't really felt recovered, my body desperately trying to make up for the depth of exhaustion by finding sleep in some rather awkward places. Yesterday, for instance, on a text book in my paleo-cubby during my lunch hour. I suppose this will level off eventually. Today, despite not getting the extra sleep I had intended last night, I am feeling rather more refreshed and in better spirits. Hopefully, my level of energy will remain throughout the day as I really hate the feeling of sluggishness and sleeping on the bus.