I know, I should be writing about Juliane's wedding, and I will, I promise, but right now, I want to be writing about horses. The two are related, of course, in that Juliane is a 3-day eventer and we met at riding camp, eons ago, but I'm going to write a little more personally than that.

There have been horses in my life for a long time, and for a few years, because of school and extreme financial strain, I lived pretty much horseless. Rick has been with me for the entire period of horselessness and does not fully comprehend the depth of my love of those animals, nor the happiness I derive from being with them. I enjoy working with them, being near them, touching them, talking to them, even smelling them. I am comforted by them. I do not fear them. Horses move me. When I need to think, or when I need to escape, I can think of nothing so appropriate than going up the road, or down the path, alone, with a horse.

My friend, Kerri, has horses and it is at her farm where I ride here in Peterborough. I went out there this morning austensibly for a riding lesson, but found the house empty. Not wishing to waste the trip, I decided to ride anyway. There is a horse at her barn that I am in the process of falling in love with, named Peek, and despite the rain, some quality time just the two of us would be (and was) very nice. Peek is a talented horse. He's handsome and young, unfettered by previous training, unspoilt. He is a gentleman, polite and sensitive, but not lacking in personality. In fact, he has a stubborn streak and a sense of humour (yes, horses can) which can be both amusing and irritating. And I think he's awesome.

Two months ago, Peek had only just been jumped for the first time. Today, I took him around a short course of fences that posed little challenge for him. We also went for a ride up the road, which was good for me, because I'm feeling moody and needed to think. It was drizzling the whole time, but that kept the bugs down and the temperature cool. It was really nice.

I would like to continue working with this horse, to show him, to take him places I've never been. My passion, which has laid dormant for so long, has been rekindled this summer and it leaves me wondering what to do. I am about to venture out into a whole new world of adventure, leaving for Winnipeg in three weeks, and after that, who knows? I may end up as much in Peterborough as in New York, or London.

Today, I told Peek that I would have patience and would weigh all possible decisions with great care. I am not ready to settle, I don't know what I want, but now that I have 'the bug' again, I don't want to let it go, and I don't want to let go of Peek. No doubt, this is some great metaphor for life, but a clue would be nice. I wish I didn't always have to choose one thing over another - why can't I have it both ways, sometimes?

I'm not always very patient.