I have returned from a trip that was at once awful and wonderful, sad yet affirming. I went willingly to New York, though not with much hope of enjoyment, and then, as we find, once in a while, it was a marvellous visit that brought me to my first home in a way that was closer, more honest, than any visit before. There was laughter with the tears and as much celebration of a life lost to us as there was lamentation. It was an eye-opening experience and if I ever thought before that I was without much family, I know even better now that I make up for it in friends. Dear friends who even as they struggle have a place in their hearts for me. I will write more soon. Tonight, I am too tired.